The world is burning. An uncontrollable fire has broken out, the walls are melting, and those who could stop it are standing back, watching everything char outside of their safe castle. The golden door opens, and from the protected estate emerges an artificial doll, clad in black and white, with a soulless face, her hollow insides creaking as her heels clack on the ground. She approaches the pleading masses as their inflamed flesh progresses to a grimy burgundy. The doll pulls her string, and the pre-recorded message plays to the dying people: “This country is so beautiful. Don’t you love my dress?”

This was the experience of watching Melania, the 2026 documentary about First Lady Melania Trump. The film documents the days leading up to Donald Trump’s second inauguration. Melania herself and the filmmakers likely figured the movie would be fascinating for showcasing the behind-the-scenes work for the inauguration, as well as how interesting Melania is as a person. It fails on both fronts. The assembly of everything, from her dresses to dinner decor to transportation, is all boring. There are many meetings with banal discussions and an obsession with opulence so grotesque that you want to vomit at the sight of the lifeless white and black, if only to see a more pleasing color.

The dullness and phony nature of it all come through in Melania’s presentation. Melania reveals that she was previously a model, and it shows. Her voice-over narration has all the banality of a model answering questions about social issues they don’t fully understand. She speaks about how much she cares about children and philanthropy, but spends nearly the entire movie obsessing over her fashion, her decorations, and her ego.

To hide Melania’s many imperfections, the film struggles to make her look appealing. The movie begins with her leaving Mar-a-Lago as “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones plays. The music continues with a close-up on Melania sitting in a car, her face muted and her eyes devoid of any interest.

When Melania arrives at Trump Tower as the credits are still rolling, we get more footage of her sitting in cars, as the soundtrack switches to Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean. The choice of music is jarring, not fitting the imagery or setting the right tone. The soundtrack feels less like a matching sensation and more like turning on the radio during a tedious car trip when nobody in the vehicle wants to talk. It’s later revealed in the movie that Melania’s favorite music artist is Michael Jackson, but who gives a shit? The song doesn’t work, and it was likely only included because Melania wanted it there. This is her movie, and it’s all about what she wants, no matter how dumb it may be.

En route to Trump Tower, Melania states, “Everyone wants to know, so here it is. 20 days in my life. Family, business, philanthropy, and becoming First Lady of the United States again.” You can probably guess which of these four attributes will be given the most coverage and which three will be given the most lip service.

Melania’s first step toward becoming the First Lady again is meeting with her designers to discuss the dresses she will wear. There is so much talk of dresses. So much boring talk. The designers say it’s great to work with Melania because she knows how to communicate with them, having been a model. That’s it. The audience is presumably supposed to be impressed with this trying on of dresses to whimsical music. But because Melania is such an uninteresting person who mostly talks about herself, this is dull. I’m not a designer, but all of this seems so insultingly tedious for what amounts to dresses that look like dogshit.

Melania’s next stop is visiting with her event planner for the inauguration dinner. They discuss a theme of timeless elegance. The colors include gold and grey, with the food including golden eggs and caviar. I’m sure for some rich prick, all of this looks decadent and sophisticated. All I can see is an excess of disgust. A celebration of the disgustingly rich and vapid people in our world. We are not meant to vomit at this discussion. We are meant to be impressed with Melania’s vision for a dinner. A dinner where her ilk dine in a manner that even the bluntest of capitalism satirists would admit is a bit much.

Amid the event planning, the planner notes that the colors defining Melania are black and white. I would agree, but not for defining her attire. There is white, an absence of color. Melania is devoid of any charm or warmth, lacking any color in her personality. And then there is black, an absence of light. An emptiness within Melania’s mind and heart. Every poetic declaration of thinking about Americans rings as hollow as her very husk. Black and white might be the safe tones of the elegant, but it is also an absence. A distance between her and the rest of the world that doesn’t revolve around her.

It is impossible to watch this film without thinking about all the hideous events that followed. Melania states in the film that she respects the history of the White House, mentioning her work in the East Wing. The East Wing of the White House has since been demolished to make room for Donald Trump’s plans for a ballroom. A hideous ballroom that has been declared by critics as being absolutely shameful. The East Wing was also the part of the White House that had a movie theater, where this movie would’ve been screened. The movie would instead have to debut with a makeshift screening at the White House, and later at the Kennedy Center, which Trump shut down amid the movie’s weekend debut. There is no longer an East Wing for Melania to work on her designs. It’s been torn down for something vulgar. Something disgustingly too large and coated in an empty white and gaudy gold.

After a pointless meeting of the hiring team, Melania calls her husband. Unsurprisingly, the only topic that Donald Trump wants to discuss is Donald Trump. Trump brags about winning the election, and Melania congratulates him. The only question he asks her is if he watched his election coverage, which she didn’t. There is no affection or concern he shows for Melania in this call. It is all about him. His election. His victory. His ego. His everything.

If Donald and Melania have anything in common, it’s their selfish egotism. Melania’s inability to connect with anyone is best illustrated when she attends Jimmy Carter’s funeral. Rather than speak about Carter in her narration and what this former president meant to her, she instead uses this opportunity to talk about her mother, who died a year prior. She says nothing about Carter. This is the level of putrid narcissism within Melania. This is a woman who attended the funeral for a highly influential president, known for the philanthropy that Melania is supposedly passionate about, and her only thought about this event is, “How can I make this about me?”

Harping on mortality, Melania says we must cherish moments with our family and loved ones while they are still with us. Notably absent from this film are any scenes in which Melania spends time with her son, Baron. Baron does appear at public events, but not in any scenes filmed specifically for this documentary in which he interacts with his mother beyond passing acknowledgements. There are scenes where Trump and Melania are together, but there is a cold, detached quality to their interactions. Very little feels candid in what is filmed. Everything is business, and what little isn’t comes off like awkward small talk.

The detachment can be felt in everything Melania does. She watches the Los Angeles wildfires that have devastated homes with this blank, vacant stare as she sits on her couch and watches television. She is meant to seem thoughtful, but there is no emotion on her face, no concern beneath the surface. The only sign that she cares is her voice-over, where the sympathy is more in her words than her delivery. She can’t focus on the fires now. She needs to meet with Aviva Siegel, an Israeli woman whose husband is being held by Hamas. She is tearful and hoping for her husband’s return, while Melania comes off as bland as she always does. A moment that could’ve been the most heartfelt scene in the entire movie, and Melania still doesn’t come off as human. This was her moment to not seem like an uncaring, selfish figure, and she fucked it up. It’s just another opportunity to make her look good, refusing to hide any of the strings for this self-serving puppet show.

The only time that Melania seems to genuinely show emotion is when she sings along to Michael Jackson in the car. We are meant to see this as human and relatable. Melania sang the lyrics to Billie Jean. That is something I do. She is literally me, a peasant. We have so much in common. We are basically the same, with the exception of Melania having a disgustingly massive amount of wealth that I will never have access to in my lifetime.

Countering this playful scene, however, is everything that follows. Melania returns to Mar-a-Lago, a place that feels like home for harboring family and friends. Missing from the film are scenes with her family and friends. You’ll just have to take her word for it. She refers to this place as her peace from the outside world. There is so much conflict in the world that she simply doesn’t want to deal with it or stare it in the face.

Case in point, Melania states she wants to be a positive inspiration for Americans and to help the country’s children. So instead of meeting with Americans about these issues, she meets with the Queen of Jordan. Who better to give advice on helping out foster children than royalty? Opulent, ignorant, detached royalty. When I watch Melania and the Queen of Jordan discuss their initiatives for children, I am not witnessing a display of philanthropic plans. I am watching two rich, spoiled brats sucking each other’s butts about how compassionate they are.

Melania already wasn’t coming off as genuine, but Donald Trump’s many appearances only worsen her image. There’s a scene where Donald and Melania discuss the inauguration plans while whimsical music plays. Melania can’t wait to reveal her dress for the big day. Donald, however, whines that the College Football Championship is on the same day as his inauguration and that it was intentionally scheduled to make him look bad. I don’t know why this scene was left in the movie, making Trump like the embarrassing, spoiled brat that everyone knows him as. Yet it plays, and the emotional music struggles to suggest that Trump deserves our sympathy. Either that, or we’re meant to relate more to Melania, who likely tuned out during this temper tantrum to think about dresses. Her dull, lifeless dresses of black and white. The swirling achromatics of an empty void. The world is burning, people are dying, but have you seen Melania’s hat?

The candlelight dinner before the inauguration arrived, and watching this scene was like staring deep into the abyss. Excessive luxury spews from this celebration of greed. Melania’s words about helping Americans mean nothing for these scenes, and the classical music only makes it worse. Elite ghouls cackle as they indulge in this expensive meal, with Elon Musk’s creepy smile becoming a jumpscare. Melania recognizes the power in this room and hopes it will be used to make America prosper. They won’t, but who gives a shit? Just look at her dress.

During this event, a prayer is offered for Donald Trump’s success. Trump’s association with Christianity seems to have shifted over the years. He’d previously courted Christians by stating that he was trying to get into heaven. During his 2024 election, he stated on Fox News, “If I’m good, I’m going to heaven. And if I’m bad, I’m going someplace else.” But in 2025, one year later, he was interviewed on Air Force One and remarked, “I don’t think there’s anything that’s going to get me into heaven.” Despite all of Trump’s lies about how he is so great, he can’t maintain the illusion. He knows he is unpopular, and he knows his presidency is an embarrassment. If there is a hell, he is going there. When discussing war with Iran, Trump said that the country is being beaten to hell. If Trump is going to hell, he is dragging us all down with him.

Inauguration Day arrives, and Melania dons her outfit. A hat with a large brim, concealing her face. She spends much of the ceremony looking down, hiding her expression. We cannot see into her soulless eyes or distant look. All we can see is her hat. Her fashion. Don’t look at her personality, only her style. I don’t recall there being any explanation for why the hat had to obscure as much of her face as possible. Not that it matters. It’s an absurd choice. Nobody told her how bad this would look. Nobody said this outfit makes her look like a cartoonish villain with her face concealed. Nobody said this fashion would be so effortlessly mockable.

Trump’s inauguration speech is featured in the film. He notes that his legacy will be that of a peacemaker, a lie that can’t even be swallowed anymore. Following Trump’s inauguration, the ceasefire Israel had with Gaza was broken, and we’re currently at war with Iran. Who cares about peace, anyway? No need for that when you’re already going to hell. Let’s just bring hell here. You might be wondering why the film even bothered to present this unfulfilled pledge. It’s present because this was the part of the speech where Melania suggested he use the word unifier. She helped. Isn’t she great? So what if it was a lie? It’s not like these words mean anything. They’re empty phrases for empty people.

As Donald and Melania walk through the Capitol Crypt, she speaks in voice-over about her husband. “Nobody has endured what he has over the past few years. People tried to murder him, incarcerate him, slander him. And here he is. I’m so very proud.”

People tried to murder him, like the conservative assassin.

People tried to incarcerate him for 34 felony counts of falsifying business records and paying hush money to a porn star.

People tried to slander him for his disgusting interactions, his incitement of the January 6th attack on the Capitol, his rape charges, his vulgar personality, and his everything.

Here he is. A bloated mass of egotism who faced little to no consequences for his actions. Aren’t you proud? Melania is proud. Look at her dress. Don’t look at the smoke or the ground crumbling beneath you. Look at her heels if you must look down.

Due to the cold weather, the following Inaugural Ball is held in the Capital One Arena. Melania admits she prefers this venue as opposed to an outdoor one. She says she feels safer in such a confined space, which gives her peace of mind. It’s just like Mar-a-Lago. Surrounded by family and friends. Not commoners. Not the ones who despise Trump or are critical of his politics. Only the nice people. Why can’t the rest of the world be this nice? Maybe this movie will make those haters change their minds. Maybe audiences will love Melania for how she awkwardly sings and dances along to Y.M.C.A. by the Village People. Humans sing and dance. Literally me. You didn’t hear an explosion. That was the music.

The film ends with Melania and Donald finally arriving at the White House. There’s a scene where Melania waves the cameraman over as Donald gets something to eat from the fridge. The way she beams makes it seem as though something exciting is happening behind the curtain. There isn’t. There is nothing revealing. There is nothing relatable. There is nothing. Nothing.

What’s maddening is that we know there is something not being shown. We’ve heard the calls of how heated and angry Trump can be when he doesn’t get his way. But that bratty, candid Trump is not present in this movie. There are no arguments with Melania, no intimate moments between them that aren’t staged for a photo-op with the press. Any reality has been glazed over by this film, sterilized in a thick coating of whimsy, and the pop music tracks cleared for this picture. You won’t learn anything all that compelling or relatable about Donald or Melania. Why should they tell you anything? Who are you, anyway? Do you know how hard it is to be someone like Melania? Do you know how much work it took to make her inauguration outfit? Look at her ensemble that hides her face, the perfect encapsulation of this movie’s closed doors you’re refused to enter.

As the movie ends, Melania’s departing words are that she will move forward with purpose and, of course, style. I would say her legacy is style over substance, but that implies her style can compensate for her lack of personality. Her style can’t carry her lack of accomplishments in the film’s textual epilogue. She helped with the executive order Fostering the Future for American Children and Families, but it has done little to nothing to address the systemic issues in the foster care system. Padding her list is how she visited disaster sites across America, but this should be standard for political leaders. Does Melania really want a cookie for doing the bare minimum?

Melania is not just a bad documentary because its subject is an egotistical elite or that the director is a sexual assault predator, Brett Ratner, although that should be enough. The film itself is just a whole lot of nothing. Every voice-over Melania spouts is loaded with hollow words that never sound genuine when they spill out of her mouth. Her devotion to philanthropy and family is all talk, with none of that care coming across in the film. Her style is dumb, wearing dresses that look like someone scribbled on them with a marker and hats that make her look like the villain in a Disney movie. She wants to show off her personality in this movie, but never lets the audience see that much of her, refusing to look the public in the eye as her brim conceals her face.

There is no warmth or color to this picture. There is nothing. A lack of color and an absence of light. Black and white. The colors of Melania. The bland is mistaken for bold, and the excess is mistaken for the decadent.

The world is still burning. The body’s charred and decaying infrastructure has toppled in a heap of ash. Still standing among the destruction is Melania, her porcelain face unmoving and her hideous dress unaffected by the flames. She pulls her string again and another message plays: “I will do everything I can to restore America’s beauty and glory. I am the most compassionate First Lady.” She feels like she made a difference as she marches back to the golden doors, taking refuge from the world she failed to protect. She views herself as the hero because no one else was present to disagree with her.