Soon after the death of Paul Reubens, I recalled him making a cameo in the comedy Quiz Lady. He appears before an elderly woman who mistakes him for Alan Cumming. Informed about this woman’s desire to meet Cumming, Reubens fakes a Scottish accent. As the documentary Pee-wee as Himself reveals, melting into different people seemed to be what Reubens prefers most.

Even when director Matt Wolf gets Paul to sit down with him for an interview, there’s a veil as thick as his Pee-wee persona that coats him for so long. He does speak about his family, his nostalgia, his experience in the entertainment world, and the juiciest of reveals about his hidden homosexuality. But there always seems to be a smirk on his face at how much he’s willing to admit about his life. When questioning his egotism, he jokingly darts between responses, leaving some personal questions lingering a grin and a punchline of “you’ll never know.”

The few times that Paul is open are refreshingly sincere. His admittance to being gay and hiding that part of his life (even sacrificing a relationship for his career) is presented more as though it were common knowledge. But for those familiar with his character Pee-wee Herman, it wasn’t that big of a revelation. There was a camp in Pee-wee’s world, a blend of modern punk and retro childhood wonderment, reminiscent of shows like Howdy Doody. His Saturday morning TV show, Pee-wee’s Playhouse, leaned heavily into a queer acceptance of embracing one’s differences. In case anybody needed their hand held, Reubens states clearly for the camera, “Yes, there was gay subtext in the show.”

There are a few fun stories that Reubens and his peers talk about from his history as Pee-wee, most notably the production of his first movie, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. The behind-the-scenes tales on that production alone sound fun, with Reubens retooling the script while on the studio lot through a combination of bicycles and weed. The evolution of Pee-wee is also mesmerizing to watch unfold, starting as an obnoxious amateur comedian and transforming into a fully realized childish adult, spewed out of the pastel-patterned past. There are clips from the first televised version of his Live show, and I’ll never forget how hilarious it was that Reubens stopped the show to play footage from an old hygiene film. Pee-wee provides almost no commentary. He knows this old footage holds a weird nostalgia and wants us to bask in the absurdity of oversized cakes in the lunchroom and the bestowed title of “Mister Bungle” for unclean children.

There is, of course, plenty of darkness in Reubens’s past, and the film doesn’t shy away from it. For becoming more of an icon for kids, Reubens shed his Pee-wee presence when he was arrested amid a raid at a porno theater and later brought in on eronious charges of child pornography. Even though Reubens cooperated with the investigations and the extensive trial found nothing damning, there was still a stain on Reubens’s career due to the mere association with such accusations. When offered some comforting words by his friends, Reubens recalls being told the public will forget all about this. Reubens retorted that the public has a mind like a steel trap. There’s a truth to that mindset. Although Pee-wee had a resurgence with adults who grew up with him in the 2010s, there was still that lingering notion of recalling why Pee-wee had been absent in the first place.

Pee-wee as Himself is a heartfelt, yet revealing documentary that comes laced with insecurities more understandable than restrictive. The film was made while Paul was dying. There’s a level of uncertainty and control he desperately wants to maintain with the documentary, right up to his final days, where he becomes almost bitterly fragile about the life he lived and the wall he built for it with bowties and cackling. But there was an honesty through his portrayal as Pee-wee, where the character was more than just a jester of Saturday morning or a campy player for Tim Burton. Reubens might have struggled to define himself, but what he ultimately wanted to do was entertain and put on a show, with Pee-wee Herman always providing him with a stage where he could delight all the boys and girls, no matter their age or sexuality.