Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi Screenwriter: Craig Sweeny Cast: Michelle Yeoh, Omari Hardwick, Sam Richardson, Robert Kazinsky, Kacey Rohl, Sven Ruygrok, James Hiroyuki Liao, Humberly González, Joe Pingue Distributor: Paramount Running Time: 95 min. MPAA: PG-13

There has always been a debate on Star Trek regarding its best and worst interpretations. In the realm of movies, there were debates over which Trek film was worst, ranging from The Motion Picture’s slow pacing to The Final Frontier’s absurd staging. But I think Section 31 may bring the Trek fandom together to collectively confirm that the worst movie is Section 31, a project that could’ve been the worst Star Trek series.

Spinning off from Star Trek: Discovery, this pilot-turned-movie centers around what is essentially Starfleet CIA stopping a doomsday plot. Michelle Yeoh returns Philippa Georgiou, the Mirror Universe emperor turned nightclub owner, in her timeline traversing adventures. Section 31 agent Alok (Omari Hardwick) contacts Georgiou in her current timeline to work with them to recover a secret device. Her thirst for danger makes her take on the task with the aid of the Chameloid Quasi (Sam Richardson), the cyborg Zeph (Robert Kazinsky), the human Starfleet officer Rachel (Kacey Rohl), the seductive Deltan Melle (Humberly González), and the Vulcan-hijacking organism Fuzz (Sven Ruygrok). Georgiou’s investment in the mission turns personal when she realizes the doomsday device being sought is her own and being utilized by her lost lover.

So little of this film feels like a Star Trek tale for how bland it gets with evoking the most tired of tropes with the most uninteresting of characters. There’s the masked assassin, the criminal thief who gets tortured for information, a mole among the ensemble, and a mysterious murderer among their ranks. But what point is there in caring about in any of this? For a film that takes its time to introduce each character, we know more about their abilities than their personalities. Several characters are reduced to heavily that their banter comes off so limp, where Richardson gives too little and Ruygrok gives too much. How I pined for the usually funny Richardson to crack a good joke and Ruygrok’s cartoonish goblin take on a Vulcan to shut up. This is also a separate universe with morally ambiguous characters we barely get to know. So what if they’re all doomed? If anything, watching this one-and-done adventure end bitterly might’ve made this a darker tale of sacrifice instead of laying the groundwork for a show that will never be, even with a surprise celebrity cameo at the tail end.

Section 31 is Star Trek for people who never got Trek and read too many bad CIA novels. None of Trek’s hallmarks are present for a franchise known for its political questioning, the depths of human nature, and exploring the utopian ideals for the future. The disinterest in exploring any greater themes makes this a mindless Star Trek spin-off, where it could easily be retitled to be a forgettable Netflix action flick. I know there tends to be much franchise fretting these days of fans declaring heresy for how many times studios return to the fandom well to rebuild the wheel, but I doubt any Trek fan’s ideal film/show is a dull secret agent thriller that squanders Michelle Yeoh. It’s the most mindless of Star Trek built less for more extraordinary sci-fi storytelling and more for pew-pew laser action sequences.

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